Working moms are constantly thinking about work-life balance. What can we do to make sure that we find balance between our careers and being present for our kids and partner? And more importantly, what can we do to make that mommy guilt about being a working mom go away?
I have been a working mom for the past six and a half years and there are some things that I have learned to help me find my balance.
1. Think High Level
When it comes to work-life balance we cannot think in terms of details. What I mean is that work-life balance is not something that you can have every single day. Think about it. Your workload probably fluctuates. There might be weeks (or even months) where you are very busy. This will be the time when you might need to spend more time at work. And it’s probably not the time when you can go on vacation with your family. So during those times, your balance will shift a little towards your career.
What is important to remember, is that these circumstances will change. And at that time your balance will shift back towards the middle. And there will be times when your balance will shift towards family. Maybe it is during the times when your childs is participating in sports, or maybe it is during summer time, when you go on longer vacation.
Examples from Other Women
I watched an interview on Fit and Funky on YouTube with Autumn Calabrese where she talked about Work Life Balance as a Working Mom and it really resonated with me. She talks about her views on work-life balance and how it is something that is constantly changing, depending on what is currently happening with her career. It’s a really good interview to watch!
And I also recommend two books written by very successful and inspiring women who talk about careers, work-life balance, and mommy guilt. These are Lean In Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg and Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis.
2. Know What is Important for YOU
Work-life balance is an individual thing! Your ideal work-life balance will not look the same as your friend’s or a random person on the internet. So don’t try to chase after what someone else has defined! Because you will most likely not be happy with the result.
The best approach to determine how you should balance your life is by setting your priorities. Sit down with a piece of paper and write down what are the most important things for your family life and career. What areas in each category do you want to prioritize in the next few months or a year?
Home
Let’s start with your home life. Think about your family and your household and write down the priorities you have for your home.
Ask yourself some questions to help you figure out and narrow down your priorities. Is it important to you that you are active in PTO activities at your child’s school? Is it important to for you to eat dinner as a family every night? Or maybe it’s important for you to spend mornings as a family so you can see your kids before they go to school? Is it important that you attend every practice for you daughter’s soccer team, or are you fine with just attending the games? Or maybe it’s important that you read to your son every night before he goes to sleep?
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Career
And from a career perspective, think about specific projects or areas where you want to grow as a professional. Do you have specific times of the year where you are extremely busy? Do you want work on a certification this year, that will help move your career forward? Or maybe you want to lead a large-scale project that will require you to travel a few times a year?
Again write down the priorities that you have for your career in the upcoming months.
3. Make a Plan
Now that you have made the determination on what your priorities will be for a given month, quarter, or year you will be able to prioritize your time. And you will be able to get some clarity as to what will work with your schedule. This is critical when trying to find a work-life balance that works for you.
So take a look at the list of your priorities and see if any of them clash in a given time period. For example, maybe you will need to work on your certification in fall because during spring time your son will be getting ready for his piano recital and you want to provide support during that time. This will help you plan ahead and avoid disappointment along the way.
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Great tips! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you very much Gabe!
Really needed this! I struggle being present with my daughter when I have work on the mind. Quality vs quantity is good advice.
Thank you Maria. Yes, it is hard to compartmentalize work and home in our minds. I think that the more we practice that concept the more successful we are at it. You go mama!
I was definitely feeling that mom guilt today. Any tips regarding moms who work from home? My son tells me I’m always working, but I have too big of a workload to only work when he sleeps. So the mom guilt isn’t just coming from my own mind… it’s coming from my children’s comments to me.
Hi Tiffany! I hear you – kids do have a way of saying things that will make us feel guilty about working. My son asks me all the time why I can’t come to school and help out with activities like other moms. What I would suggest trying is having some sort of schedule chart for him to see. Like mommy works from 9 till 10:30am and from 10:30 till 11:30am is the time for him (simple piece of paper where you would list daily schedule). He gets to pick the activity for the two of you and you spend that hour fully dedicated for him. Hype it up in the morning by saying, I cannot wait for our special time! It will make him feel very special and hopefully fill his cup. In my case, I volunteer for a couple of events throughout the year, and I really hype it up for months. Every time he says he would like me to come to school, I say: ‘oh honey, mommy has to work during the day, but remember I will be there for your Field Trip in April! I bet we will have so much fun. What do you think we will be doing?” it makes those moments so much more special for the two of us.
I hope this helps. And I will definitely have another post addressing this topic.
Insightful post Marta! I like how you are real that it’s a constant juggle and never really achieved.
When I first became a mom I struggled with this a lot – because I had this image in my head that work life balance is just something that you have all the time. Once I realize that it is always a work in progress and that it will change as our responsibilities at work and home change, it became so much easier. Thank you for reading!