As working moms we wear a lot of hats and sometimes it’s easy to get lost in that sea of responsibility and experience lack of fulfillment. Do you feel like there is something missing in your life?
Why do Working Moms Struggle with Fulfillment?
I think that is especially the case for working moms at the very beginning of our motherhood journey. When you start having kids lot of things change in our lives. You are trying to find yourself in this new role, while still having your career and your household responsibilities. Which of course are now even greater than before 🙂
But now you’re also having to take care of your child or children! There are a lot of things on your plate and sometimes YOU simply get lost. There are so many things to do that you kind of lose focus on what you want to have in your life.
Any dreams and wants that makes you feel fulfilled get put on a back burner because of the sheer volume of new responsibilities.
About a year and a half ago, I realized that I did not feel fulfilled. I love being a mom I love being a working mom as well but there was just something missing. Even though I had all those things going on I did not feel fulfilled.
So I’m going to take you through a five-step process that I have used to get me going to find that fulfillment again. And at the end of this post I’m going to explain how it all came together and make a huge change in my life.
Don’t Ignore This Feeling
The first thing I will point out is that if you have this feeling that something is missing in your life don’t disregard it! Don’t think ‘well it’s just because I’m in this new phase of life’. Or ‘it’s because I’m tired – it’s going to change one day’.
Nothing will change by itself! If you do not take any action and keep ignoring it, it will not go away by itself! You really have to take charge of your life and figure out a way how to find fulfilled again.
Discovery Phase
The first three steps are gonna concentrate on figuring out what is causing you not to feel fulfilled. Because there is no one solution that’s gonna fit all of us.
Figure Out Your Pain Point Life Area
The first step is to go through each area of your life. You can do that by asking yourself some questions to figure out how you’re doing in each area. Ask yourself if there is something missing or are you satisfied with the way things are going. What would you like to improve?
If you are not sure how to start this process, I have a FREE Goal Tracker and Planner that can help you with that assessment. In that document, I have identified eight areas in my life. Each of them has different kinds of categories that will help you create those questions for yourself.
Let me give you an example. When you are assessing the health area of your life you can look if you have any health problems that you need to address. Maybe you have a high blood pressure that you need to take care of. Ask yourself when was the last time you went to a get a physical. Has it been years?
RELATED: Goal Setting - How to Plan and Track Your Goals
Looking at another area like household you can ask yourself what are your biggest challenges in my household? Think about the time of the day that you find the most stressful. Maybe it’s the morning when you are trying to get out of the house and you feel rushed because your kids forget where they put their homework? Or maybe you are rushing to make a cup of coffee for yourself and it’s just a stressful time of the day?
RELATED: Miracle Morning Routine - Why I Wake up at 4am
Why is this important?
The whole idea of this is to look at each of those areas and write down what are the most challenging things. And to define specific areas where you feel you are most overwhelmed.
Oftentimes when we face different challenges or struggles on a regular basis – like the chaos in the mornings in the previous example – tend to stress us out to a point where we cannot concentrate on other things. We will waste a lot of time on being stressed out over the same situation! And because of that we really cannot focus on the things that are gonna make you feel fulfilled. You will never have time for that! This is why we are starting with this exercise.
REALTED: Do You Have Too Much On Your Plate?
Think Back to BK (aka Before Kids)
The second step is to think about the life that you had before you had children. Specifically I want you to think about the things that you did that make you happy. Things that made you feel fulfilled. Maybe you had a hobby that you loved. Or maybe you were starting a side business that went on a back burner because once you had kids you just didn’t have time for it. Maybe you went on weekend getaways with your husband. Whatever those activities were, write them down.
As you’re going through this part of the exercise think about if any of those things you would want to continue to do.
RELATED:Â Intentional Living - How to Get Started
Reflection: Jurnaling, Prayer, and Meditation
The third, and final step, in this discovery phase of the root cause of you not feeling fulfilled is going to be journaling, prayer, and meditation. Either one or all of them. Basically you want to go through the process of taking time to yourself reflect. Time to really think about our life and our current challenges.
RELATED: Feeling Overwhelmed – 10 Actions to Take
Action Phase
At this point you have discovered what is missing in your life. You have spend some time thinking and analyzing why you do nto feel fulfilled. The next two steps are all about taking action.
Address Your Pain Points
Now we can move on to step number four, which is addressing all the pain points you have identified in the previous three steps. The important thing to remember is that you want to address one problem at a time. Or one challenge at a time. You don’t want to address all the areas of your life right away and all the problems you are facing because you will get very tired very quickly. And you’re going to become overwhelmed.
What you want to do is pick a starting point. For me personally that area was health. I decided to start my journey with addressing my unhealthy lifestyle. I started with eating a more balanced diet and with developing a habit of daily exercise.
RELATED: Productivity Habits to Help Balance Your Life
You can also use the Goal Planner and Tracker to identify specific goals in the area you are working on and then track it. To decide what area of your life we would like to address think of one of your challenges.
For example, maybe it is the chaos in the morning. You can start working in this area by implementing and morning routine.
Again, the idea is to address those obstacles and challenges so they are no longer distractions. That way you will be able to concentrate on doing things that you love. You’re going to find more time to enjoy a hobby that you used to have before you had kids. Or you’ll find more time for date nights with your husband.
Gain Momentum
And step number five is when it’s all coming together. I can only describe this as a snowball effect, which is a famous term used by Dave Ramsey in his personal finance world. I have noticed that once I started addressing fitness and health I gained this momentum. I started seeking improvements in all other areas of my life.
RELATED: How to Find Time for Everything You Want
At that point I discovered what I was missing. That’s when I started blogging and created my YouTube channel.
It all will start falling into place because you start in one area and keep going and making improvements. And this is exactly how you’re going to find fulfillment!
It’s going to be different for every single person; however it’s still gonna involve the same steps. You really need to address all the areas of your life to be fulfilled. Start slowly and identify those problems areas. Then address them one at a time.
Your Turn
Do you feel fulfilled? What area of your life are you currently working on?
Totally relate to this, it’s the process I’ve been going through myself. I pinpointed that I was lacking an outlet for my creativity and passion and this is, in part, what led me to blogging. Which has, in turn, started naturally leading me to other things. A really important process for everyone to go through, it’s made a dramatic difference to me.
Yes! That was very similar to my journey – lack of creativity outlet. But I first had to gain some self-confidence. And your blog is amazing – I’m so glad you decided to go for it!
I agree that self fulfilment is so important and often forgotten for mums. Once I had my children I realised I needed something for me and self employment has really been that for me.
Yes, we tend to put all of our energy into raising our kids and forget about ourselves. Until we wake up one day realizing that something is missing. I’m so glad that you found something for yourself to feel fulfilled 🙂